I listened to the CD with the same name that the book is based on and I am telling you, this might just shake me out of my selfishness! wouldn't that be a miracle??? If the book is even half as paradigm-shifting and core-shaking, I think we are in for a ride.
Jules
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When Julie and I listened to Norm Wakefield's teaching "Equipped to Love" last week I was so convicted. God is using this to show me so much. I have been seeing my selfishness more over the last year or so and had been praying that the Lord would help me to be more selfless and that He would teach me to really love others and He is answering those prayers. He has been showing me that I am much, much more selfish than I even realized over the last week! Where do I begin? Basically, God is showing me that I am deeply selfish and that in love to others I am all too often focusing on myself and what they can do for me. I have always loved in a worldly way. As he says in chapter 1, "God's kind of love focuses on giving and serving." I'm praying God will help me to love others in a way that focuses not on me, but on them and glorifies Him. Another good point he makes is that we often love others based on how useful they are to us (yes, I do this, too) instead of focusing on how we can serve them. He points out that God loves us though He does not need us. So true.
He says, "Have you ever thought that the great value of the ones whom you have trouble loving is that they cause you to go to your heavenly Father?" and, "The greater one's uselessness, inability, or stubborness, the greater potential there is for you to experience God's love."
Wow! God actually uses those that I have a hard time loving to draw me to Him, to cause me to go to Him.
I have been thinking and praying about this often lately. I am so unable to love with God's kind of love unless He enables me to. Julie and I have discussed this and she said so well the other day that she knows she cannot change herself--only God can change her. So true. Praying God will work in me mightily and teach me to really love.
Kristy
Well, girlie girls.....I'M BACK ONLINE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO-HOO! What a blessing to have a computer that has been overhauled & operates well again. It's been difficult and lonely to not be in communication via email/internet with my dear Christian sisters.
First of all, thank you so much to Julie for buying this book for me. That was very sweet. In turn, I already have in mind several people who I want to buy this book for as well. What a great read.
I told Julie that this book is "easy" to read, yet I don't want to just easily read it but rather really let the deep truths sink into my soul.
I felt the same way after listening to the CD about loving others by Norm W. and my life has been changed significantly. Not that I'm loving God's way at this point, but rather my mind has been shaken from its worldly ways and I'm on a new course of thinking.
May God's grace empower all of us to surrender beautifully to His working in our hearts! Looking forward to many great discussions on this book......and on developing into a changed woman through His power.
Love, Wendy
I talked to Jules earlier today and was telling her that I am having such a hard time actually applying what the Lord is showing me in this! I see how much I look to people, things, circumstance, etc. for happiness, fulfillment, and contentment instead of looking to the Lord for all that I need. I'm getting ready to read the chapter about looking to the creator instead of the creature for happiness. I truly need the Lord to give me grace in this area!
I have a friend who is having some significant trials with her husband. He has a gambling addiction, she thinks. Anyways, they are newly married (3 years) and have no children. When I shared with my unbelieving neighbor about my friend's struggle, my neighbor said that 'while she doesn't condone divorce, that this girl clearly didn't get what she bargained for in the marriage and there's no kids so this would be a good time to get out of the situation and start over'. I was struck by her candidness. And how many Christians would likely agree with her worldly perspective. However, my friend knows that her prayers avail much. She's in this marriage for the long haul, regardless of whether or not this is what she 'signed up for'. She knows that God sees her husband with different eyes than she (or anyone else) does and that gives her great hope.
What God is doing in my friend is impacting me as I watch her love this man with His love.
Sometimes as I read things I am renewed. I see something in a fresh way. But, it's difficult to really allow myself to be changed...unless I witness it. I've had the opportunity to watch two friends show their (unbelieving, adulterous, sinful, etc.) husbands GODLY love. The friends were getting nothing but grief and misery from their husbands, yet they loved them in a way that is foreign to the world. And again, most Christians are included in that 'world'. Let's take this process one piece at a time. Allow God to first gently open our eyes and hearts to our sinfuless. Let Him show us where we fall short. Then, let Him gently heal us from those pervasive and life-long attitudes. Let Him teach us in His ways how to recognize this love in action. Open our eyes and ears to others loving like God. Then let Him change us. Bit by bit, moment by moment, day by day. Have a heart that is willing to be examined and changed by God alone...and then when you least expect it, He will be changing you and you will begin loving others in His way.
Peace, Wendy
Hey girls!
I've finally got a few minutes to gather my thoughts about the first few chapters of this book. I've been wanting to share with you all how the principles of this book has revealed my true source of love.
First of all, I totally agree that this is SO HARD to change within myself. I know that I cannot do it, the Lord MUST do it - as I acknowledge my utter helplessness, His desire, His grace and my lack. As Norm says, if you notice it, you perhaps are "standing at the threshold of experiencing God's love in a powerful way." I do pray that is the case for all of us!
One thing I realized is how I 'love' my extended family members. I find myself loving them, enjoying their company, wanting to be patient and kind etc. and yet, I realize that after they are gone, I start to analyze the ways they are different from me: my beliefs, my convictions, my way of doing things. And I openly discuss my discomfort and observations with others. I tend to think that by pointing out their inferior ways, I am venting and relieving the pressure of 'putting up with them'. Does that make sense? I criticize, judge, tear apart and look down upon things that made me uncomfortable or unhappy. This is the spirit of idolatry. Whoa, how ugly!
"No one knows better than God what situations and people best expose your selfishness, lust and pride." This truth has been ringing in my head lately as I see my response to people, situations, news. I've demonstrated more often than not, that my heart is not trusting in God's PERFECT sovereignty in allowing this element to be in my life. "To grumble about circumstances or refuse to give thanks to God for people and their weaknesses, regardless of how inconvenient or hurtful, declares our unbelief in Jesus' lordship and sets us in opposition to His sovereign Word." OUCH.
There are some incredible truths in this simple book. I am mulling some of these thoughts over and over in my head. I pray that the Lord will do heart surgery and change the way I love people. Not to serve my selfish needs but to glorify Him who loved me when I was unlovable.
Jules
"My heart is stone, melt it with Thy love,
My heart is locked, let thy love be the master key to open it;
O Father, I adore thee for thy great love in the gift of Jesus,
O Jesus, I bless thee for resigning thy life for me,
O Holy Spirit, I thank thee for revealing to me this mystery;
Great God, let thy Son see in me the travail of his soul!
Bring me away from my false trusts to rest in him, and him only.
Let me not be so callous to his merit as not to love him
So indifferent to his blood as not to desire cleansing.
Lord Jesus, Master, Redeemer, Saviour,
Come and take entire possession of me; this is thy right by purchase." Valley of Vision
Where do I start? I haven't gotten that far in the book - which is still swirling around in my mind and piercing me with its convicting truths. I am faced with a disheartening and humbling fact - that I do not know how to truly love.
Recently, I've been really struggling to love others - especially those in my church. I do love some of them, but there are a few who just upset me and stir up criticism and negativity. I took out my Doorposts study - For Instruction in Righteousness by Pam Forster - and studied "Judging Others". Wow, how convicting!
"Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law... there is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are YOU who judge your brother?" I am finding myself openly criticizing others. I find fault with so many things and often complain about how they offend me with their words or ways. I pick out their every little fault, whether they intentionally manifest it or not. I place blame on THEM for drawing out MY ugly feelings. What wickedness!
I find myself so utterly helpless to change this. I am not able to control my tongue, my emotions, my love - and this is where I need to fly to my Father instead of attempting to make myself feel 'better' by pointing out their less attractive attributes. Do I even realize - as my study pointed out - that when I judge, I am often doing the same thing myself? I condemn myself as Roman 2:1 says. How? I find that I am committing the same sin in a more socially acceptable form!! And what is the root of that???
I Pet 4:8 says "Love covers a multitude of sins." We are to be examples to our children so that they 'learn to overlook and not make an issue of every minor offense against him, and every imperfection he sees in another. We are all at different stages of growth and maturity. We need to show each other grace, just as God is gracious.' Is this what my children see in me? What kind of example do I set before my little ones?
Instead of loving as God tells me - I end up complaining. It says in James 5:9 - Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judges; behold, the Judge is standing at the door." What is usually the motivation of my criticism? It is usually jealousy and pride. I have to admit it. I hate it but there it is. And how can I change it? First of all, I believe that it's the humble acknowledgement of that fact! I am praying that He brings me to my knees - flat on my face even - if that means I can get rid of this awful habitual sin! If it means that I die to self and the Holy Spirit can love others through me! It's really hard to be at this point....
Anyway, I did feel like sharing this on this blog since it does go along with what we are reading. I have more to say on the chapter on carving tools - that's a really good one as well! But you know how it is, I am running out of time. :-)
Kristy and Wendy, if you're still reading this with me, Lord bless you! I am blessed to have friends like you to experience these life-altering studies with me.
Come on! Write some more! I would love to read about what you've learned recently!
Love and blessings
Jules
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