hi sis :D
chapter 3
i think the biggest thing that stuck out to me about this chapter was that a mother's mission is "grave and vast" - how differently the world tells us!
i know that the work of a mother and wife is sooo not glamarous, but how fitting for a servant of the Lord. Christ humbled Himself to live in man's flesh, to suffer sin, to endure death in order to deliver the souls of the world. surely that far outweighs our call to live in small spaces, to suffer the crying and whining of children, and to endure years of ministering to little ones in order to shepherd their souls to Christ. i pray that i will prepare and remember that my actions and decision, even now, will affect their souls in eternity
chapter 4
oh my. i think i needed this chapter. every segment was a stinger.
APPETITE: what really convicted me was that my desire to be thin is unbiblical. i always knew that i shouldn't want to be thin to be more attractive, or to garner more praise, but i think i tried to rationalize these desires by saying that i was *actually* trying to "be healthy" or "self controlled". of course these things are what i should have wanted from the beginning, but i would paste these "right answers" over the wrong ones so that i could keep indulging in my sinful desire to be praised by man. that sucks! but praise God, because i feel a difference in my attitude about my weight. i've been trying to exercise, but haven't been checking the scale! i refuse to be enslaved that anymore haha. i also used to eat and feel super guilty afterward, and would starve myself the next meal. but Mahaney's reminder that the Scripture tells us that God has given us food to *enjoy* made me see that my feelings of guilt and shame were not branching from a sense of offending my Lord, but rather from a sense of offending *myself* by not doing what would make me most attractive. i'm going to try to enjoy my food more, :) but NOT gluttonously hahah
SLEEP: i don't think you know this, but i have really terrible sleeping patterns. last semester, i got an average of 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night. i would go to class, maybe meet up with ppl or do some sort of ministry, and then go straight to the library, where i would stay until 2 am. after that, i would go home and sleep (on a good day) or stay up indefinitely. this summer, i made it a big goal to regulate my sleeping, so i got it up to 6 or 7 hours a night. :) this semester, it has been a temptation for me to stay up again because i've been feeling pretty overwhelmed with my classes. it hasn't gotten too bad yet, although i've pulled an all nighter, but there have been bad days where i know it would have been more effective for me to sleep rather than to try to do work all groggy headed and delirious. it was rebuking for me to hear that staying up late past what our body requires is not diligence, but SELFISHNESS. i can definitely relate to that. it was selfishness that would make me push back all my responsibilities until the night, when i would try to get it all done "on my time". there was also a sense of pride in my ability to pull all nighters, and work late into the night when my friends couldn't stay up past midnight. i secretly thought prided myself in being diligent when i was just being stupid, prideful, and selfish. praise God for making this sin explicit - i had known it was displeasing to God before, but i think i really needed it to be stated clearly for me to prioritize fighting against it.
THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS: heh heh. i think you know that i have been struggling to take control of my thoughts these days. i guess just to update you, i have been praying a loot about it, have written out and memorize phil 4:8, 2 cor 10:5, and col 3:2, 3. i've also taken some measures - i decided to stop chatting to people online for this whole week. please pray for me that these measures are not of my own strength, but by the initiative of the Holy Spirit, and that He would give me success for His sake
:D yeah, i really needed that last chapter.
btw, can you please pray for me? this past week, there was an informational meeting for missions to taiwan this winter (the same as the one i was going to go on last winter). and jules...i really REALLY want to go. i've never desired this so intensely before! but at the same time, there is a trembling of spirit - are my intentions right and glorifying to the Lord? what if my heart is wrong, and i go, only to mar His name and lead others astray? please pray for my purity of motives, and a desire for Him and Him alone, whether i go on missions or not. please pray that the doors would open also, if it's His will, namely by getting permission from umma and yuyeon. and for me to be content and give praise to Him, even if i can't go.
:)
oh, btw, the next chapter looks a little...err....weird for me. hahah. can you read it first and tell me whether it's ok? i'll read chapter 6 in the meantime :P
i love you
His,
sara
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Wow, Sara, that was a doozy!
You've hit the nail on the head (on my head too!). this chapter was really something i needed to read. and i don't remember posting on it. did i?
let me check.
oops, just realized i haven't posted on chapter 4. anyway, that was a very convicting and helpful chapter for me and i'll post more on that later. i really want to get my thoughts together.
you know what you've said about the appetite and about our self-image is so true. when i was thinner and younger, i never had any problems with controlling my appetite, but now that i'm uh, a mom of *** kids it's much harder. i have to admit that often i look in the mirror and desire to look as good as i used to! my motives are not pure. i really have a hard time exercising, or FEELING like exercising. so this is interesting.
sleep isn't a big issue for me right now. i would go through periods of no sleep, to too much sleep. i think i'm going on what i need. you need to sleep girl! college days was like that for me as well but then i would excuse the weekend for sleeping in til one pm and would pass a whole day with my family away in la-la land!
let's pray about this self-control thing. i think one week of no chatting is reasonable, but what after that? my thing is also going on the internet too much. i have a mom's board i spend a lot of time on, and i think i need to really cut back on that. i will control myself there. it's my most time-consuming / wasting activity i have.
ok, my turn to post! and yes, i'll read the next chapter for you so don't get too nervous!
hi :)
i'm gonna try the chatting thing for a week, and after that i'll think about extending. honestly, i'm not on it that much, but right now it's an issue of controlling my thought life, and keeping away from distractions. if it's ok after this week, then mayyybe it'll be ok to go back on it, for shorter periods of time. but i'll probably be a lot stricter with myself - it's not really the *best* way to use my time.
have you been keeping our blog resolution?? :D i haven't checked at all yesterday and today! it's crazy how much of a habit it was for me. i keep typing in the website, and having to stop myself haha. :) i'm glad tho.
i haven't been on the momsboard yet, unless someone private messaged me. i don't know what's going on and i'm on withdrawal! but no worries. i know that my time is much better spent with the kids and getting other things done! i actually finished my entire bsf in one day. of course, that's not the best way to do it. it doesn't give you a chance to digest really. anyway, i've been reading the book and it's so good. there are so many things that i either haven't thought of or that i needed to read right now. i will blog on that.
i think that's good about trying for a week, get it out of our systems (or build it up! *roll*) and then control ourselves.
so i guess you don't mind the new name? i like it! :-)
back to school!
:D i got the book.
...it's a goood name and all...but kinda....cliche. :P but obviously, i can't think of anything better. so let's keep it for now. (beats "sisters reading books", i have to admit)
Post a Comment